Adulting is Hard

Sam Wheeler
Nov 1, 2021
7 min read

Updated: Nov 12, 2021

I have done the most adulting in my life these past few months; thankfully I've grown from it. Let’s just put it out there….adulting isn’t just hard, it can actually suck. Like really suck. Like why did I always want to be a grown-up when I was younger because it is underrated suck. And I feel like I have had to do so freaking much of it. Let’s break it down, shall we?

Trying to Find a Place to Live

When I first moved down here, I thought it would be somewhat easy to find a place to live. In the big scheme of things, it wasn’t the worst thing but it certainly was not ideal. Thank goodness for having the amazing Trimpers down here because this temporary homeless girl was able to stay at their house for two weeks while I found something. One positive thing about searching for a home was that I moved down here a week prior to my starting date so I was able to spend that entire time looking at places in DeLand, Orange City, New Smyrna Beach, and Port Orange. Even though I was able to look at a lot of places, did not mean that anything was necessarily available. Every single place I looked at, except for the place I am currently in now, had a waitlist from 3 months to a year and that wasn’t even a guarantee that there would be anything available at that time. Also, finding a new place by yourself is expensive. It is certainly cheaper to live in Maine but living by yourself certainly adds another layer of stress when it comes to figuring out what the best choice is. On top of all of that, I still had not received my first paycheck from my new job so I was not entirely sure what my take-home was going to be each month (after taxes, benefits, etc. were taken out) so I was almost going in blind. I am very thankful that I landed where I did. It is absolutely gorgeous and has great amenities and is close to the beach (let’s pretend I go to the beach a lot and that this is a highlight). But the commute is about 20-30 minutes (I know, I know, people who travel to work in Boston would laugh at the thought of this being a commute, but it’s the farthest I have ever lived from where I worked so don’t come at me), so I will most likely look for something closer and hopefully cheaper after this year. Fingers crossed.

Going from D.I.N.K to S.I.N.K (put that on a t-shirt)

But like for real, someone needs to put that on a t-shirt, mug, bumper sticker, or something because that is golden and I cannot be the only one who has ever felt this. In total honesty, this was Kevin’s idea for it to be S.I.N.K. In typical Sam fashion, I am a dork and was like O.I.N.K.(one income no kids) like a freaking pig and I said to him see because I snort when I laugh haha. Sometimes I look at myself and just wonder how my brain functions haha. SINK is much better so kudos to sir Kevin. Now I know I have talked about finances in multiple posts already but it seriously cannot get mentioned enough. It was not until this move and job change that I realized just how much money really does play a huge role in like EVERYTHING!!! Even more so when you go from living with your boyfriend and have two incomes to just one income. Lots of adulting needs to occur and it is straight-up bologna. I have become much more aware of budgeting and really sticking to a budget. I have been able to take care of certain bills and loans to help but this is certainly going to be an ongoing learning experience. Still sucks and is dumb but whatever I‘m an “adult.”

Putting Furniture Together, By Myself

DUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEE. Putting furniture together by yourself is the WORST. I was living the high life when living under the same roof as Kevin because he is the handiest individual I know, other than my mom (sorry dad but you know). When I moved down here, I came with zero furniture, literally drove down with whatever would fit in my car and that was basically clothes, some small appliances and a large-sized photo of KitKat (cause priorities). Therefore, I bought a bed with a frame, a TV stand, and a chair (yes that’s it, peep the previous section about being a SINK) over a two-month span. When I got the TV stand, I stupidly did not have any tools. I have never bought tools before, I’m pretty sure. I know the box typically comes with their version of tools but I figured I should have some anyways. Like the Handy Mandy, Bob the Builder gal I am, I went to the Dollar Store to get my tools. Hahaha. For the most part, putting my furniture together went smoothly….until the dang chair. The chair I got is a Papasan chair (Google it because that will be way quicker than me trying to explain it poorly). This thing was a pain in the bootay to put together, to the point where I needed to FaceTime the parentals to explain how the tools I was provided by the box and my tools were not freaking working to tighten the bolts and tell them that Walmart and Better Homes & Garden is stupid. After about an hour of this, I am pretty sure Jesus himself was like alright I’ll give her a break and miraculously I was able to get the dang thing together. It was a miracle. This experience also made it very clear to me that I am old because the next morning I was so sore as if I just had lifting practice with Dan at 6:00 am and it was freaking leg day (shoutout to Dan and I know all my fellow UMaine NARPs know what I’m talking about. Also, for those who don’t know, a NARP is a non-athletic real person). It’s like a badge of honor.

Making New Friends

You may be thinking, 'Sam this can't be hard for you, you're so extraverted!' Well, this may be true but it can still be difficult, especially when I am in an area where I have no history there. Let me explain. In Maine, it was exponentially easier for me to just strike up a conversation with someone or initiate an interaction because 9 out of 10 ten times, they may already know who I am. It's kind of hard to not be known when you have the last name Wheeler in Maine. Again, let me explain. The Wheeler name is almost legendary (not tooting our own horn or anything but we did get a legacy award from UMaine so back off) in the state of Maine, especially in the UMaine community. I was a fourth-generation Wheeler to play a sport at UMaine and for the first two years of me being there for undergrad, I was known as Manch Wheeler's granddaughter or even Sandy Wheeler's granddaughter. Everyone knew Sandy and Manch. Soon, I was able to be recognized as initially Sam and then an oh Manch Wheeler's granddaughter. As time went on and graduating from UMaine but still being on campus working for athletics, getting my masters then moving to the Career Center, I just naturally got to know a lot of people. So naturally, it was pretty easy to make new friends or find people to hang out with outside of work/campus. I don't have that in Florida. It is a much more awkward process of putting yourself out there. At least for the time being my opening line can be "I'm new here and just moved from Maine." This is certainly a conversation started and helps make connections. It is also one thing to just start a conversation with someone but a whole other thing to then try and hang out with said someone. Thankfully, I do have some pretty awesome colleagues that have been making social networking possible. I play pickleball (that's right, the sport you learn about in middle school/high school PE class) with my supervisor, his wife, and a colleague on Tuesdays. Let's just say I am super out of shape (true NARP now) but at least my concussion brain can handle it. On Fridays, the Biology department faculty go to their version of Happy Hour at a local Irish pub and that has been a great way to end the week. This is certainly a work in progress to find new people to hang out with but we are slowly adulting our way there.

Not Having My KitKat With Me (yes this counts)

Let's be real here, having a pet just makes adulting and life so much better. In Maine, I have the best boobakins, fluffanutter, munkachunk of a furball named KitKat to make all things better. When I would come home from work, if I had a stressful day or whatever, she would come greet meet at the door, demand some pets and snacks and then we would most likely find our way to the couch to snuggle, maybe nap, and binge-watch the Simpsons. Best way to cope with adulting for sure. KitKat did not come down to Florida with me, she is still in Maine and I miss her like crazy. Coming home to be greeted by a little fluff monster is something you do not realize you would miss until you no longer have it. I honestly cannot remember what it was like prior to adopting KitKat but I am getting a glimpse of that now. I have gone back and forth, debated, and argued with myself about getting a cat while I am here but have not truly come to a conclusion yet. I will at least wait until after the holidays before making the decision, but we will see how much more adulting ends up occurring for me to need a snuggle companion.